Hey gang! I hope everyone is doing well and I’m back again talking about a subject that's centered around fandom toxicity and criticism in this current age. And this isn’t any information that’s new to the blog. I did discuss this subject matter in my previous articles "What’s The Deal with Fandom" and "Is The Star Wars Hype Dead" and I did go into it a little bit about what you should do if these kinds of responses are genuinely bothering you and how to handle it online and in-person. And I will admit that these are things that I personally struggle with as well and can learn from because who's perfect with any of this stuff? And I am still reeling in from these sorts of critical responses and understanding how they might come from a place. But without further ado, I hope my personal wisdom serves you well:
1. Set Boundaries
First thing's first, if there are nasty comments and or message boards you find regarding whatever you like whether it's Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Rick and Morty, or Game Of Thrones, just stay away. It is not going to do you any good to read any of those comments. It will just make you angry and who knows how it'll affect your attitude towards others. You'll be just as bad as the people writing all of those comments and you don't want to be like that. You, like me, want to stay positive about the fandoms you enjoy. So even though a franchise is popular and there are a lot of conversations to come out of it, it ain't always sunshine and rainbows where people are raving about experiencing a film, show, book, or whatever type of story medium. You're gonna run into critics and, unfortunately, that's life. There's no way to always avoid it and that's the harsh reality about it. All that said, there are online methods and other things you can also apply to in real-life conversations.
Whenever I'm online and I see someone post a negative or pretty critical post or tweet about something I enjoy I'll either hide the post, mute, or unfollow/unsubscribe from that person's account, or if it gets really bad, "block" them. And this can be on a ton of social media sites like Facebook, Twitter (especially), and even with YouTubers. Personally, I've had to mute and unfollow people online that I've followed for a while, which can be disappointing considering how much I used to admire the person, but if it's making me feel uncomfortable or depressed, what good is it? When the last few Star Wars movies received backlash it broke my heart to see the loudest people online be the most negative, so I took action. I muted accounts I used to follow and instead tried to "follow" people that shared the same positivity as I did. And when you take these sorts of actions it's only helping your own well-being and, besides, the person you unfollowed or muted wouldn't even know in the first place.
As for the in-person conversations, this can be where it gets a little difficult, even for me, because it's not like you can hit the "mute" button in front of the other person's face (which would be awesome), but as hard as it sounds, it's best not to talk to about these things if it will lead to negative talk from the other person. I know. It does break my heart a little bit not being able to talk Star Wars with other people because the conversations I've had led back to the criticisms they had with stuff like the Sequel Trilogy. And the criticisms I've heard could be a whole other article to write about, but if it's going to lead down a rabbit hole, maybe it's best to talk about something else.
And speaking of the real world, maybe it's best to escape the trolls by taking a break from social media. The Ultimate "MUTE". Yeah take a week off social media. Heck! Take even longer to relax your mind. I can speak for myself doing this because when not going on Twitter or YouTube, I felt so much more positive about the things going on in my life and had a better attitude around people. And I think it's because I was surrounded by so much filth and letting it get to me, that it was best to take care of myself in this way. I highly recommend doing this for yourself.
2. Don't Argue
I know it's hard not to jump into a debate about how Luke was handled in The Last Jedi or what was the best James Bond movie. We as fans like to talk about all this stuff, but jumping off the idea of removing yourself from conversations about the franchises you enjoy, if you DO allow yourself to jump in, it could always lead to some pointless debate that wouldn't get you anywhere honestly. You, yourself, might know that you love something and you can honestly just leave it at that. Because you love a franchise that doesn't always mean you have to know ALL about it inside out. You can be a fan of something by simply liking it. That's it. There's no need to defend it with all these fancy facts.
Also, I find that usually the people you're trying to argue against either misinterpreted what they watched or read or maybe they're just being over-analytical. Don't try to argue something and think you'll be able to perfectly convince the other person why you think something is good. And if they didn't gel with something, that's always cool. Unfortunately, there are times that other person may also just want to browbeat you about it to feel superior about themselves. And shame on them for thinking that. "Y'all need Jesus." But if you love something and you know you love it, then stick with it and remind yourself why you love it. Sometimes something can just be enjoyable for you and doesn't have to be all that deep and that's perfectly fine. If you like it, you like it. Plain and simple.
3. Healthy Discussions
So, personally, as you could see previously I'm not a firm believer in the whole debate thing, but if you're confident enough to make your case about why you think something is good without tearing the other person down, go for it. It might be a little difficult to talk about certain things with people nowadays considering there is a lot of entitlement with this sort of art today. And I know there can be times when I said how much I liked a controversial element in a film or show and explained the way I interpreted it, the response can still be a question or an implication of how it still doesn't make sense and that the creators had no idea what they're doing. But I think if there's respect in the way we talk about the fandoms and franchises we enjoy and discuss why you like something in a friendly manner, that makes the difference.
And sometimes it can be good to listen to another point of view to understand why they see that same element of the story their own way. You might not agree with it, but whenever I listen to someone say something I disagree with, and instead of arguing, I respond with, "That's fair", "Fair enough", or "hey, I feel ya. I see what you mean." But you never know? If you talk about something in an insightful way that's with KIND intentions, then you could at least have that person understand where you're coming from even though they don't agree with you. A respectful debate like that is never a bad thing, but if you're personally concerned about what they'll say or you hear them babbling on and on and ranting about it, just let them and move on.
4. Network
When the time is right it's always a good idea to find other people who are interested in the same things as you. For example, you might find a Facebook group or Twitter page that talks positively about your favorite franchises or maybe there's a book club at the local library you want to check out or even a Comic Con. There are definitely a ton of ways to meet people who like the same things as you and if you follow those people and engage in those conversations you're going to be REAL happy and have a better attitude and more open mind towards other people. Even though the loudest people online can be the most negative, it doesn't negate the fact that there are still a lot of fans who DO celebrate the things that you love in person or online. So if you surround yourself with those kinds of people who are more positive and don't have as much of a critical eye for things, you're golden.
Personally, I found wonderful podcasts online about Star Wars and Game of Thrones that are very insightful, fun, and positive to listen to. And the online communities spawned out of them have been great. Heck, that's actually all I listen to that's film or TV content related now. I used to like watching movie reviewers on YouTube and now I can't stand them because the criticisms in them just don't gel with me as much. And you also have to realize that these opinions do come from a place and people will have very passionate expectations about these stories nowadays. I'd rather focus and enjoy the stories that are given to me. And speaking of enjoying things...
5. Enjoy and Have Fun
That's the point of all this! The point of being a fan is simply being a fan. Cheer on the stuff you love and remember to have fun when you're watching your favorite movie series, TV show, book, or playing your favorite game. If it brings you joy that's what matters.
(Warning: The following opinion might turn off some people, but it's my blog and I don't care.)
When I watched controversial movies like the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy or DC movies, I personally have a lot of fun and joy watching them and can forget about the noise because of my enjoyment watching them. But there have been times when I do feel that these movies and shows can feel a bit tainted because of the backlash. But in the end, who cares what anyone else thinks?
I've been trying to get into that attitude and even though it's hard to avoid that noise and what others think, it should never dictate or sway how you feel about your favorite stories. Some of the things you enjoy may be praised and win a ton of awards and that can be great since others like you appreciate the work and get the same amount of joy out of it like you. But then on the flip-side, there may be something that gets universally trashed by critics and audiences alike and you may be one of the only people who love it with every fiber of your being and to that, I say stick with it. Someone could try to convince you how it's objectively bad, and nothing ever in this world is perfect, but who cares about any of that stuff? It doesn't matter. If you can get a positive emotional response from it that's all that matters and no one can take that away from you. In the end, art is what you make of it.
Please do me a favor and let your favorite types of stories in their respective mediums continue to resonate with you. Forget what anyone else thinks. It's important to be respectful of other people's opinions because let's face it, we live in a society where not everyone will see eye to eye about anything, and that's fine. We deserve respect for our opinions and allowed to like the stories that we enjoy. So if you love something, cling to it. Don't let anyone take that joy away from you and do what's necessary for your mental health like controlling your social media or even staying away from social media. It's not a problem to remove yourself from certain conversations online or in person. Surround yourself with good and fun people and have fun with the things you're passionate about and allow your mental state to make them be these grand escapes. Because in the end art is not about knee-jerk responses and entitlement, it's about the escape and the emotional impact it can leave on people.
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